This is an easy breakfast to make. Just take the Chinese food leftovers you ordered last night(taking the fortunes out of the cookies, and the food out of the cartons), break 4 eggs (pick out as many of the shells as you can) into a frying pan. Mix (use a fork, spoon, or your finger, this all happens before the stove is on).
Turn the stove on high. Place the frying pan on burner. Wait 4 mins, then slap yourself on the forehead, and place the frying pan on the burner you actually turned on. Stir (this time a finger is not recommended for stirring).
Cook mix till smoke alarm goes off. Turn off smoke alarm. Turn off smoke alarm again. Put smoke alarm outside, and close the window. Turn up the radio to drown out the smoke alarm outside the window. Add Franks Hot Sauce to the mix. Take the mix off of the burner.
Dump into large bowl. Add more Franks Hot Sauce. Sit down at the table to eat.
Apologize to the cat, make sure it's feet are not on fire, and turn off burner you forgot.
Yell at the dog to get her head out of your breakfast.
Take the dog outside to vomit.
Bring the dog back inside.
Wipe the dog's vomit off your boots.
Wait 30 mins for the pizza place to open and order a pizza.