Monday, March 29, 2010

Man makes Roosters Obsolete!

In a big "FUCK YOU!" to roosters everywhere, science has finally come up with a way to wake up in the morning with a smile that does not include strangling one of those cock-a-doodle-bastards to death.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, man's genius; the Bacon Alarm Clock!

Yes, the Wake n' Bacon as it has been so perfectly named is real, and yes, you can buy it. Created by Matty Sallin, Daniel Bartolini, and Hsiaohuh Hsu (men who no doubt will be making the short list for the Nobel Peace Prize this year), because they, like the rest of us out in the real world, were tired of being woken up with annoying buzzers, whistles, or those holier-than-thou roosters.

How does this magical and wonderful clock work I hear you asking? Well it's so simple that 3 over tired men with a passion for bacon could come up with it actually. What you do is before you go to bed, you put a strip of frozen bacon into the tray, set the alarm, and sleep. In the morning the clock activates 2 halogen lamps 10 minutes before you want (or rather have to) get up. These 2 halogen lamps then get to work slowly cooking the strip of bacon, filling your room with the smell of yummy goodness, which should wake you up. And as a back up, if this wonderful smell gives you dreams of eating breakfast, an alarm will soon follow to stop you from eating your pillow.

Matty Sallin, Danial Bartolini, and Hsiaohuh Hsu, 13 Cans Of Redbull Later salutes you!

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